I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
