around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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