I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
