some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
