i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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