These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
