I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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