What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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