I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
