I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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