I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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