Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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