hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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