i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
