I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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