Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
