Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
