I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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