Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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