I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
