It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How external is "for external use only"?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize