Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
