Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
