I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
