I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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