Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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