Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize