I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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