she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
