At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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