He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
