look no pants
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
