Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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