forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
