omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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