i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
