Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
