Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
