I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
