My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
