2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
