All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize