I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
