At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
