oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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