So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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