You work out of a Hotel?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
