Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
