fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
