i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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