I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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