It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
