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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
