Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
