I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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