Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
