I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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