My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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