it wasn't lemon gatorade
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
