my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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